July 28, 2009

  • only if..

    it was all so easy.  The dream of a life I once had where i was calm and happy. 
    I'm sitting here 26 hours and no sleep.  the delirium is setting in and i have scars to prove it.
    I'm going to slip soon if i don't do something right.

    I'm going to starve, and find the meaning of poverty, the meaning of abandonment.
    I can't even put into words how i feel.  I don't even want to write it because of my shame.

    I am hiding a monster under my skin and everyone knows its there.
    who could i fool?
    not even myself.

    when i saw it thrown into the middle of the street.
    when i saw the love drift away from us.
    when i felt the pain it felt so intense it took me over and consumed me.

    im going to fall asleep and wake up to another day.
    it will be what i make it.  It will be more bearable.
    wont it?