Has everything become harder for anyone else?

Even though i've got my car, and i can now do alot more of the things i've wanted to in the past,  i don't have the drive to do it. (Pun unintended)

I don't hang out with my friends anymore.  I see nadine about as much as much as i do algebra homework.  She came over last weekend to watch a movie for 3 hours, and before that i hadn't seen her for almost 3 weeks.  It's been like that this whole year.  I don't have a definite person to spend time with except for phil. 

Alex is always busy or his mom wont let him do anything or he just flat out doesnt want me around or something.  but thats Alex.  He must think relationships last on seeing each other at school primarily.  Im looking in the wrong place i guess.  i shouldnt go out with the guys that i know sit at home and play videogames all day, that dont have a sex drive, and that dont know how to use the telephone.  I'm not saying Alex isn't capable of being totally sweet, but he only treats me like i matter for the first two weeks we go out and then he looses interest and the rest of the relationship is just him figuring out a good time to tell me he doesnt like me........hey im rambling.

work is crap.  every reason why i hate working in the food industry can be summed up in my employment at Orange Julius.  But i've got insurance and money i owe to my parents so all i can do is complain, because i cant quit.

I don't have time for swimming.  i ahvent been in 2 weeks.  every day i havent gone is due to a group project for history or spanish, or english, or chemistry.  also the projects that are individual for english, philosophy and spnanish take up alot of my time as well.  i know college is goign to be so much harder and it makes me wonder if im really capable of it all.

im so stressed out right now about everything in my life i could cry. but that wont change anything. so i'll just say

Goodnight.

The work in san jose is very limited.

i went to 30 various places, 2 were hiring.  So i've got two applications to turn in tommorrow.  the cheese steak factory, and this pizza place next to ST. :[

Saw Van Helsing.  It was exactly as shitty as i had expected.  i'd reccomend it.  the script was so cheesy, and the ending was lame as fuck. it reminded me of the lion king when Simba saw Mufasa in the clouds.  I heard they spent alot of money on that shit movie as well.

Mom day. we went to Olive Garden.  I saw Ryan working there.  I used to work with him at the deli.  i was talking to him and he told me that if i ever wanted to come by with my friends or something he'd 'hook us up'.  i wonder if your allowed to request a certain waiter if u go to a restaurant. someone answer that for me?

anybody know any places hiring atm under 18?

I helped Alex take things that he didnt want to the goodwill yesterday.  It was sad.  He is moving in 2 months.  Even though we have been through alot together i still feel alot for him, and he has been there througout the last 3 years. i can honestly say he is one of the most important people to me.

Well, i'm hungry.  I'm gonna eat the left over chicken alfredo from today.

peace.

i got me a car.

i went to swim finals, i did aight.  we dropped 7 seconds on the 400 relay. woot woot.  this year was the longest ever.....they combined 2 divisions so the amount of teams went from 7 to 15.  it lasted until 10 friday night and 7:30 saturday night.  but alas, we went to dennys from 9:30 to 11 and it was fun.  i dont know what they thought when we came in witha 25 person party. 

driving alone, with a car of your own is like nothing in the world.  I know the novelty is going to wear off quickly but im enjoying it now.

so i got an SAT study guide book today. wow those fucking tests are hard.  the book has like 10 copies of older sat's so i can get familiar with the question types and overall math thats gonna be covered.  alex told me he's help me with geometry which is mostly on the tests, so i wont completely bomb the fucking thing.  it's on june 5th, im a lil nervous.

so im here, really hungry, and it's 10:30.  too late to eat if u ask me.

chinese food tommorrow. *drools*

goodnight.

i made a fun picture.

uhhhhhhhh

yeah

I went. I saw the Golf.  Dave loved it. I loved it.

It's got a white exterior, white interior, moon roof, 5 disc cd changer, an alarm ( i have to get it activated), seat warmers, and the cd changer is theft protected with a code. mother fucker.

So dave has to check how much the insurance will be, then it's mine by wednesday.

IM so excited.  i could be driving my own ass to school by friday!

ok, im done.

this week has been pretty busy.

i had two swim meets, one on wednesday and one of friday.  we lost wed. and won fri.  thursday we had team pictures taken so i didnt get to practice that day. it showed at the meet on friedya cuz i was pretty slow.  we planned on going to fresh choice with everyone after the meet, but then karin called me she got home and told me that she couldn't go, so i didn't really feel like going afterall.  So, i had nadine come over and she spent the night.  I kapt fallling asleep and waking up every hour, nadine didn't go to sleep until 4:30, then i woke up and watched some action movie on usa and talked o people online. 

yesterday i just layed around and did nothing really with nadine, then her grandmaw picked her up around 6.  We had patty melts and/or cheesburgers for dinner and they were superb.  Then i looked through some photo galleries and found this cool flame photo so i made it my background.

today i woke up and looked through the auto finder. i found a '97 4door k2 golf for sale, so i called that sheit up and found out the mileage is pretty high 140k.  but it sounds pretty sweet.  it's got a white exterior and black interior, i have been looking for a 4 door that isnt so big, and a golf is perfect.  I also found a 98' saturn SL2 sedan.  it's maroon, i would raher have the gold, but if the golf is in shitty condition then i'll consider the saturn.

im kind of excited.  actually i cant wait to see the Golf, and im praying its in good condition so dave lets me get it!

ok, well i need to eat something.

peace

Well Well

I went to school and wrote an essay in english.

i turned in late work for history and got some extra credit too.

i found out i have a D in chem.

i left at lunch and went to santa clara. got lost looking for the DMV. found it. and then

passed  that sheit.

i got 10 mistakes. and a license to go with it.

so then i went to swimming.  i was early so i hung out waiting for PE to get out. met a cute guy. from kentucky. 

now im home and i'm bored.

you know..i don't have a car.  i can't drive alone until i posses one.  anyone want to lend me about 2000 dollars?

goodnight.

OK here you are.......prom pics.

Like i promised.

Maybe i didn't promise.

Your a ho.